He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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