Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize