I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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