I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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