I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he thought i was a dude.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
