the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He passed out mid-signature
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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