Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
