Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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