Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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