if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
