How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize