if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
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There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
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Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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