Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize