i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
