Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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