WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
