Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize