I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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