I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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