i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
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I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
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Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
It's rum buckets o'clock
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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