so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
