Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
