Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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