Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
