I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
