I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
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Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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