It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
