We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
