gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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