My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
