Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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