the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize