Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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