Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
