Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
