playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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