Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
