Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Is it penis luge time yet?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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