So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
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Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize