Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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