Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
