Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Everyone says I win the strip club
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize