You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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