my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
