New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
