I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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