Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
