Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
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You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
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Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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