Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize