I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
