I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
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