This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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