Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
