so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I just gargled with NyQuil
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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